Did you know that according to the research of positive psychologist Dr. Marc Seligman, people with pessimistic and self-blaming attribution style of explaining bad events are more likely to suffer from depression, experience hormonal and immune system changes, and are more likely to die younger?
Changing your attitude about the things that happen to you can take some time and maybe even some help from others. To get a head start, you can keep a journal of things that you are grateful for, and make sure you write something in it every day. Another thing you can do is practice self-forgiveness. If you blame yourself, focus on the thing that you did, and just make a commitment to do something different next time - this focuses your mind on your options and power to make choices. This also prevents you from mentally sealing your fate. Lastly, I recommend beginning some kind of mindfulness based meditation practice. This will help you to become more aware of automatic thought and emotional patterns, and also to become less reactive to them. If you can do this, even if you have a tendency to shame yourself, you can see it happening, and chose to let it be a fleeting thought instead of a trap.
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